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Saturday, March 29, 2008

It really SUCKS !


後舍男生成名作(第一部)as long as you love me

相聲瓦舍 - 東廠僅一位 - 髒話篇

台灣怪譚 李立群 單口相聲



SENSE OF HUMOUR

Wife: 'What areyou doing?'

Husband:Nothing.

Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriagecertificate for an hour.'

Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'

-------------------------------

Wife : 'Do you wantdinner?'

Husband: 'Sure! What are mychoices?'

Wife: 'Yes or no.'

-------------------------------

Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet.Why?'

Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture andthe problem disappears.'

Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am foryou?'

Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'

--------------------------------------------------------

Son: ' Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'

Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'

Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy'slap.'

________________________________

A newly married man asked his wife,

'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly,

'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'

------------------------------------------------------------

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss andI'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: 'Thanks for the earlywarning.'

-------------------------------

A wife asked her husband: 'What doyou like most in me, my pretty face or my sexybody?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'

The Wise Old Man


A man of 92 years, short, very well-presented, who takes great care in his appearance, is moving into an old people’s home today.

一位92歲、非常注重外表、身材不高
但是衣著整潔的老伯,今天正搬進老人公寓

His wife of 70 has recently died, and he is obliged to leave his home.

他那位70歲的太太最近剛過世,
他感到有責任離開老家

After waiting several hours in the retirement home lobby, he gently smiles as he is told that his room is ready.

他在公寓大廳坐上好幾個小時,當他聽到他的房間
已準備好了的時候,臉上不覺露出微笑


As he slowly walks to the elevator, using his cane, I describe his small room to him, including the sheet hung at the window which serves as a curtain.

他用柺杖緩步走著,護理員在一旁陪他說明房間,
包含掛在窗上當作窗簾那條床單。


"I like it very much", he says, with the enthusiasm of an 8 year old boy who has just been given a new puppy.

他說: “我非常喜歡這”。旁邊還跟著一位八歲
熱心的小男孩,手中捧著剛拿到的新布偶


"M. Gagné, you haven’t even seen the room yet, hang on a moment, we are almost there. "

“老伯,您還沒看到房內了,等一會就到啦”

" That has nothing to do with it ", he replies.

老伯回答說:” 都一樣,沒關係啦”

" Happiness is something I choose in advance. Whether or not I like the room does not depend on the furniture, or the decor – rather it depends on how I decide to see it. "

“我早就選擇好我的幸福了,我不會因為
這間房內有些好傢俱或是裝潢就感到意外,
關鍵是我要怎麼去欣賞它”


" It is already decided in my mind that I like my room. It is a decision I take every morning when I wake up. "

“我腦中已經確定,我會喜歡這間房子。
因為每日早上一起床我就會作一次這樣的決定”

" I can choose. I can spend my day in bed enumerating all the difficulties that I have with the parts of my body that no longer work very well, or I can get up and give thanks to heaven for those parts that are still in working order. "

“我也能有不同選擇。
我能選擇終日躺著,數者身上的器官
唉,有好多已不靈光。
我也能站起身來感恩上蒼,我身上的器官,
竟然還有那麼多依舊是蠻管用的”


" Every day is a gift, and as long as I can open my eyes, I will focus on the new day, and all the happy memories that I have built up during my life. "

“我們活著的每一天都是神的恩賜,只要我還能睜開眼睛
我都要專心於這新的一天,並想著我這一生快樂的時光”


" Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw in later life what you have deposited along the way. "

“老年就好比銀行的帳戶,你下半輩子提領出來的快樂
都是你上半輩子存進去的”


So, my advice to you is to deposit all the happiness you can in your bank account of memories.

所以嘛,我要提醒你趁早將你的快樂,存進你的腦海銀行


Thank you for your part in filling my account with happy memories, which I am still continuing to fill…

我要感謝你在我腦海銀行中也存入了一些快樂
我也將持續將快樂存進我的帳戶中


Remember these simple guidelines for happiness.

請記住下面簡單易學的幸福原則

1. Free your heart from hate.

心中無恨

2. Free your mind from worry.

腦中無憂

3. Live simply.

生活簡單

4. Give more.

多些付出

5. Expect less.

少些期望

Sunday, March 23, 2008

我们的努力,你有看见吗?











Saturday, March 22, 2008



其实

厮不厮守并不重要

重要的是你是否相信

相不相信也不重要

重要的是你是否愿意付出

付不付出也不重要

重要的是是否值得

值不值得也不重要

重要的是和谁一起

和谁一起也不重要

重要的是你觉得

是否幸福
有些话不是不说
是因为我把爱你的话藏在心灵最深处

Thursday, March 20, 2008


在大人的世界里,纯粹的快乐多么难求。


而对小孩子来说,快乐却是小儿科的事儿。




Saturday, March 15, 2008

医生建议:晚上10:00前最好上床休息,中午尽可能睡半小时到一小时的午觉(午睡一小时抵过晚上睡三小时),年轻人一天至少要睡足八小时!


晚上9-11点为免疫系统(淋巴)排毒时间,此段时间应安静或听音乐


晚间11-凌晨1点,肝的排毒,需在熟睡中进行。

凌晨1-3点,胆的排毒,亦同。

凌晨3-5点,肺的排毒。此即为何咳嗽的人在这段时间咳得最剧烈,因排毒动作已走到肺;不应用止咳药,以免抑制废积物的排除。

凌晨5-7点,大肠的排毒,应上厕所排便。

凌晨7-9点,小肠大量吸收营养的时段,应吃早餐。疗病者最好早吃,在6点半前,养生者在7点半前,不吃早餐者应改变习惯,即使拖到9、10点吃都比不吃好。

半夜至凌晨4点为脊椎造血时段,必须熟睡,不宜熬夜。

Monday, March 10, 2008

柯 思 仁






柯 思 仁,1964 年 生 于 新 加 坡。 毕 业 于 公 教 中 学、 华 中 初 级 学 院。1983 年 获 得 新 加 坡 政 府 奖 学 金, 留 学 台 湾。1987 年 毕 业 于 台 湾 大 学 中 文 系。1990 年 毕 业 于 新 加 坡 教 育 学 院 后, 在 华 中 初 级 学 院 任 教。


柯 思 仁 在1990 年 开 始 为 报 章 撰 写 戏 剧 评 论,1993 年 受 委 为 电 力 站 艺 术 之 家 管 理 委 员 会 委 员、 国 家 艺 术 理 事 会 艺 术 资 源 委 员 会 委 员、 文 艺 杂 志《 后 来》 编 辑 等。1994 年 获 得 新 加 坡 国 立 大 学 文 学 硕 士,1995 年 获 得《 新 加 坡 青 年 奖》( 文 化 与 艺 术)。1997 年 远 赴 英 国 剑 桥 大 学 作 进 一 步 的 学 习 和 研 究。


已 出 版 的 著 作 有 散 文 诗 歌 合 集《 达 达 蹄 声 归 来》, 散 文 集《 寻 庙》、《 梦 树 观 星》 等。


2000 年,柯 思 仁 与 十 位 青 年 创 立 了 一 个 《 圆 切 线》团 体,希 望 以 华 文为 媒 介,探 讨 新 加 坡 的 时 事、语 言、文 化、社 群 的 发 展,希 望 在 边 缘 对 社 会 课 题 做 主 题 性 的 思考。
莫名其妙


莫名其妙的在這個時刻,做了這件莫名其妙的事情。

也正因为莫名其妙的做了這件事情后,使我莫名其妙的發現了另外一件事情。

在这莫名其妙的情況下,

心裡有點莫名其妙地怪怪的,

不過很快的就笑了笑,調適了過來。


于是,我莫名其妙的在不够睡的状态下,


在这里写了这篇莫名其妙的文章。

说实在的,其實我是開心的,


你可以说是那种莫名其妙的开心。

可能是因為我莫名其妙的擁有的比較多,


也莫名其妙的过得比較好,

也可能是別的莫名其妙的原因。

哈哈!

有些事情总是那么的莫名其妙,


該來的總是會莫名其妙的來,

我不是要莫名其妙的比較什麼,

那不是我的個性,

好好做人吧!

不要再莫名其妙的过下去。


YOU WATCH OUT ! =)

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Pictures speak louder than words.


http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/

You don't need anxiety and problems. All you really seek is a conflict free environment which can offer peace and mental security. You don't like the idea of being alone and, whatever the reason, at this time of your life you feel as if you are being 'left out'. What you really need is perhaps some 'tender loving care'.

In the past there have been - and maybe there still are - many things that you have had to do without. You have now decided to set your sights on a position or situation that could give you greater prestige and which will afford you considerable self esteem.

You feel tired - worn out and listless. The last thing that you want to do is to be in an open conflict with those around you that are forever tormenting you. What to do? That's the rub. You are feeling that you are being choked - unable to breathe.

You are an emotional, sincere and impressionable individual experiencing frustration and unnecessary stress. You are carried away by other people's enthusiasm and looking for that idealised relationship, be it in a business or personal situation, which you are able to share with a mutual depth of understanding. You have lowered your defences in the past and you have been hurt, so you are now extremely wary of being exploited. You are still ready to trust people on the condition that they are prepared to offer you proof of their sincerity.

You are inclined to be too trusting and you feel that you need to be on your guard against the possibility that your endeavours and actions may be misunderstood. Too often you have been taken advantage of and you have been mentally abused. Now you are seeking a relationship which can provide peace of mind, where you can be yourself and not have the need to put on a false front.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

黑泽明

第四个梦 隧道


这是第一次看黑泽明的电影,刚开始时,觉得电影的节奏好慢、好沉重。不过,看完关于“战争”的梦以后,不禁 “哇”的一声,果然是大师!


好像长久以来,开启战争的原因都是被冠上了“伸张正义”、“锄强扶弱”等冠冕堂皇的理由。也或许正因为如此,我们才有了所谓“和平的代价”的观念。很多人都把在战场上杀敌的士兵当成名副其实的“冷血动物”,毕竟在战场上,“对敌人仁慈,就是对自己不利。”


但我们扪心自问,有否想过这些士兵到底是情愿还是被迫上战场的?我觉得战争的残酷,不仅是摧毁了多少条性命,更可怕的是战争摧毁了人性,多少士兵在杀敌或者被杀后感到光荣,因为有许多人会替他们冠上“爱国”、“为国捐躯”等赞美的话。然而,你不觉得这是一种人性与灵魂的冲突与撞击吗?或者简单来说这就是一种反讽。


梦,在这部电影里是现实的。往往人们在现实中不敢面对的事实,就会成为“梦”。
或许以后有机会的话,我也可以拍一部电影,电影名称就叫做:“世界和平”。那,或许就是我的梦。






Sunday, March 02, 2008

好不容易赶完了这一项报告,心中的石头终于可以“减轻”了一点。
一点,而以。 =(




有人说,可以从一个人的字迹,了解一个人的个性。

你觉得我的个性又是怎么样的呢?
Vending Machine for Umbrella!


Are we going to have a vending machine that sell "happiness" in the near future?
 

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