Ga Ga over by a Malay Girl

I was attending a talk last week. We were required to wear formal wears for the talk.
When I reached the conference room, it was still early, so i anyhow chose a seat and sat.
Then a Malay Girl came and sat besides me, we greeted each other with a smile.
She introduced herself as:
"Hi, I am bitch!"
I was like... "huh? u r ?"
But of cos, i could't possibly repeat the word "Bitch" right,
so we exchanged handshakes.
She asked for my name, and when i was going to tell her,
she said :"Nevermind, i shall call you lao3 shi1"
Because that is the only chinese name that she knows.
By the way, lao3 shi1 is teacher, not a name.
So during the talk she kept calling me lao3 shi1, lao3 shi1.
"lao3 shi1 you got sweet or not ?"

"lao2 shi1 when is the tea break ah?"

"lao3 shi1 is the lunch provided or not ah"

... ... ...

and out of no where our conversation went like this :

"lao3 shi1 you got gf or not ah?"

"Nope"

"lao3 shi1 you so handsome why no gf one ah?"

"huh? hmmmm"

"lao3 shi1 you straight or gay ah?"

"what ?"

"lao3 shi1 i mean u hetersexual or homosexual?"

"do i look like a homosexual ?"

"No lah, cos u so handsome, but still no gf, that's why i ask ah?"

"oh...er...got mei?"

"So lao3 shi1 why u so handome but still no gf?"

"how i know? no gf then no gf lor"

"lao3 shi1 is my hair ugly?"

"er...no lah...."

"lao3 shi1 am i fat ?"

"er... hmmm....no lah..."

"lao3 shi1 since i am pretty and slim then can i have a date with you ?"

F-A-I-N-T !